As the Melbourne International Comedy Festival gets underway, comedian Nathan Valvo answers some candid everyday questions …
The state of my hair right now is …
Perfect! I’m offended you even asked.
The state of my heart right now is …
Pounding from double espresso which I absolutely should not have. Unless you mean in a romantic sense, which I can’t answer because public displays of romance will make me and my husband spew.
The best accessory I ever bought was …
Noise-cancelling headphones. They mute any and all unnecessary noises and it’s life-changing! Planes, cafes, dinner with family – chuck ‘em on!
The state of my undies drawer right now is …
Surprisingly neat.
The most famous person I’ve met is …
Kylie with an arm tattoo to mark the occasion too!
My best friend is …
My dog. My god, how sad.
My best on-set stuff up was when …
I hosted Nova national weekend show where I accidentally took the entire network off the air for several minutes. There was complete silence on every Nova station across the country. I’m not sure why I ended up losing that job.
Back in high school, I was …
Secretly pouring beers into bushes at house parties.
The best thing about stand-up is …
I have no boss.
The worst thing about stand-up is …
I have no savings.
When alone in my car I …
Love a good car sit. Am I the only one? A nice warm car and just staring ahead into the nothing, radio off, engine off. I love it. What’s wrong with me?
People don’t know that I once …
Was on Neighbours.
If you want to make my blood boil, start talking about…
A new TV show that I must watch but “stick with it” until it gets good.
I’m shit scared of it, so I will never …
Swim or run in public.
I feel sad when…
The K wears off (Just a little joke here for the gays)
My death row last meal would be …
My Nona’s pasta. I think that’s cute.
The musician that makes me smile and want to dance is …
Tove Lo. I’m going through a huge phase with her and I feel the world is sleeping on her! Get around her gays!
My favourite all-time TV character is …
Tony Soprano from The Sopranos. Sorry, it’s my daddy issues!
The song I want to be played at my funeral is …
I’m Going Home from The Rocky Horror Show.
The song I can never get out of my head is …
The Flight Centre jingle.
My straight mates are …
Bitchier and love gossip more than any girl or gay I’ve ever met!
Nath Valvo Hit Machine (A Best Of) is playing at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival
For more: comedyfestival.com.au
